The Art of Becoming : Sculpting Days through Living Intentionally

Our instructor’s voice cut through the room, "ngayon naman kayo ay gagawa ng financial plan". My heart sank. Last semester, we delved into financial literacy. An engaging discussion that explored how money works, the complexities of life and the diverse experiences shared by my classmates. It was eye-opening. Now, our class has been assigned a new task which is to develop a 'Financial Plan.' Just hearing those words from our instructor sent a wave of anxiety through me. I could already sense an impending breakdown. Why? Because I don’t have any clear plans for my life. This seemingly simple activity has cracked open a floodgate of emotions, pulling me into a deeper picture of my future and stirring a storm of realizations I’m not ready to face. "but I don’t want to plan anything for my life. I’m so done with planning". I murmured under my breath, each word a raw, trembling vow to myself. It was as if I was pushing back against the suffocating tide of expectations, a heart-wrenching surrender to the fear of a future I’m too lost to envision.

Life, with all its messy twist and turns, never failed to consumed me. Maybe it's because I feel everything so deeply, or because I take every single moment way too seriously. Honestly, just trying to write down the stages of my life feels like an impossible task. Every age, every milestone I put on paper, hits me like a ton of bricks, like I'm locking myself into a plan I never wanted. I hate the idea of my life following some type of societal norm; graduate college, pouring energy into a career, earn tons of money in the bank, find a guy to marry, throw a wedding, have a kid, raise them, send them off to school, start a business all while still working, being a mom, being a wife. And the inevitable part, getting sick, dying and planning for hospital bills and funerals. 

 

Writing the activity feels like choking on a lie I can't swallow. I never pictured my life as this predictable loop, just surviving until I die. There’s a hunger lurking at my soul, a restless fire that demands answers to questions too vast for silence. Why does craving a different path, a life that’s fiercely mine, feel like an act of rebellion? Why is choosing myself in this one, fleeting lifetime painted as selfish, strange, or forbidden? As if daring to walk my own road betrays some ancient code, some century-old map I never agreed to follow. Isn’t life meant to be lived, vibrant, raw and unscripted? Not just survived, not just endured, not just trudged along paths carved by others. Aren’t we the ones who shape our existence, who breathe meaning into the chaos of being? Why should I bow to a life that feels like a cage when my soul aches for freedom, for purpose, for a story that’s mine alone? Then, like a spark in the dark, I found a quote from a book that set my spirit raging, 

" There is something infantile in the presumption that somebody else has a responsibilty to give your life meaning and point. The truly adult view, by constract, is that our life is as meaningful, as full and as wonderful as we choose to make it "

  Richard Dawkins, The God's Delusion 2006

These words struck me like a call to arms, a reminder that my life’s meaning isn’t handed to me rather it’s forged by my own hands, my own heart, my own courage. This is my defiance, my existential cry, to break the chains of expectation, to choose myself without apology, to craft a life that burns with purpose I’ve shaped, not inherited. To hell with the guilt, the whispers of “should,” the weight of a hundred years of conformity. I want a life that’s bold, vivid and unapologetically mine. 

However, Stepping into adulthood feels like standing on the edge of a cliff, where every choice is a life-or-death gamble. Everything you do right now can give a huge impact on what you would become for the next couple of years. I heard it everywhere, whispers of plans delayed , dreams postponed, “I’ll save this money to travel in my 30s,” or “I’ll visit those places when I’m older.”. Endless questions swirl relentlessly in the depths of my mind. Why do they chain their desires to a future that’s not promised? Why do they bet on tomorrows that may never unfold? What if today is all they have? What if sickness or fate steals their chance to live the life they’ve buried in “someday”? Isn’t that the sharpest kind of regret, a life half-lived, haunted by “what if”?.

I refuse to let regret write my story. If I can do something today, I’ll do it. I won’t let my dreams gather dust in the shadow of “later.” I can’t bear the thought of sitting in a rocking chair decades from now, sipping coffee, staring into the void of my past and whispering, “I should’ve done it when I was young. I should’ve lived before age or illness chained me.” That’s not the life I choose. I won’t suffocate under the weight of overthinking the future, plotting every step like a script I never wrote. I want to dive into the wild, uncertain current of now, to live each day with a pulse, not just a plan. Every tomorrow is the future, every yesterday is the past and every today is the present. This is the present, the only moment that’s mine to shape, to fill with fire and meaning. I want a present that’s well-lived, a life that sings with the courage to embrace the unknown, to defy the “somedays” and the “shoulds.” I want to be the artist of my own becoming, painting today with bold, unapologetic strokes. I once heard a song that wove a profound tapestry of what it truly means to live, a soul-stirring melody that captured the essence of existence with every note and lyric, 

I wanna be defined by the things that I love

Not the things I hate

Not the things I'm afraid of, I'm afraid of

Not the things that haunt me in the middle of the night

I, I just think that

You are what you love

Daylight by Taylor Swift, 'Lover' Full Album 2019

Yet, the truest essence of living and embracing life with boundless love lies in dedicating my days to nurturing myself through all five love languages, offering myself words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time and physical touch in a harmonious balance that fosters joy and self-compassion. To weave each day with intention, I immerse myself in the sacred ritual of a warm, soothing bath, letting the water cleanse not just my body but my spirit. I move and stretch, honoring my form with gentle grace, while walks through the world awaken my senses to life’s quiet wonders. Self-care becomes my rebellion, speaking to myself with fierce kindness, pouring my heart into nightly journal entries and sinking into meditation to cradle my soul’s deepest reflections. 

I banish chaos by decluttering my space, creating a sanctuary that breathes calm. In the kitchen, I craft meals that delight my senses, each bite a celebration of my desires. My hobbies, those sparks of joy are nurtured with devotion, freeing my mind and soul from the weight of dark energies. I lose myself in binge-watching stories that stir my heart, devour books that expand my horizons and chase new skills with relentless curiosity. With every small act, a trinket, a moment, a breath. I gift myself unapologetic joy. I fill my own cup first, brimming with love and light, before offering a drop to another. To live bravely is to love and honor myself, turning each day into a powerful song of my own growth, even when life throws its toughest challenges to knock me down. But these struggles only make me look deeper within, shaped by life’s ups and downs. With every moment that passes, my faith doesn’t break, it grows stronger, shining bright, guiding me to stand taller and become more truly me with every step. 

Living life being more intentional rather than immersing life with a structured plan is far more better for me. Living intentionally means making deliberate choices that align with your core values, purpose, and desires, rather than drifting through life on autopilot. It’s about infusing purpose into every action whether it’s savoring a quiet moment, nurturing your body, or pursuing a passion and ensuring your time and energy reflect what truly matters to you. It’s a conscious commitment to shape your life with clarity, focus and authenticity, even in the smallest moments, so that each day feels meaningful and true to who you are. 

As I penned the final chapter of my financial plan, etching the years 75 to 80, a fire ignited within me, a blazing certainty that this blueprint could never capture the wild, vibrant life I yearn to live. I am profoundly grateful for this task, a sacred journey that swept me through the mysteries of existence, weaving together my past, present, and future. It was a powerful awakening, revealing that life is both fleeting and eternal, a paradox that stirs my soul. With unshakable conviction, carved deep into my heart and etched beneath my skin, I vow to embrace every day without a shadow of regret. I will sculpt my days with fierce intention, not bound by rigid plans or lifeless to-do lists, but alive with the bold, beating pulse of a life fully claimed.