Let's talk about Womanhood : Feminist Monologues Embracing Woman's Eternal Misery

I'm always interested in relationships between women. I'm always interested in how women relate to each other, whether it's a family relationship or it's a friend relationship. That's such uncharted territory in cinema. - Greta Gerwig 

I had a lifelong passion for movies. It's an inner part of who I am and will always be. Every movie or television show I watch, especially my favorites will always have a special place in my heart. The performances, their monologues and the narrative as a whole. Today I choose the characters and their monologues that have resonated with me for the longest time. They're speaking through my soul with these words. Not only do they make me feel loved and validated but I can't stop thinking about them. They have the most heartbreaking yet consoling things said in front of the camera. Their acting in these scenes is just flawless and the script is simply excellent.

Women have been represented in film for many years. They have starred in numerous beloved films and television shows that have won over a lot of fans. Cinema was well known to be a men predominated industry particularly when it came to making decisions. Men are more likely to have positions as producers and directors where they have complete control over the type of film they will make. Women's roles in movies and television shows have been challenging. A heavily male-dominated industry with a dearth of female writers and directors have the complex struggle of accurately portraying a woman. Nonetheless, women's representation in the media is becoming more known as the film business grows. It allows them to demonstrate the essential role a women play behind the scenes.

This has an impact on the ongoing independence that women in the field enjoy. Women of this generation have the opportunity to tell their tales through a variety of media platforms. Greta Gerwig, who made Lady Bird, Little Women and the most recent Barbie Movie is one of my most favorite female directors, writers and producers in western media. Though numerous films directed and written by women as well as feminist films achieved popularity before, Gerwig's films stood out for being blatantly feminine and being viewed and loved by a large audience. She speak with her characters the words a woman could never speak out loud by herself. She undoubtedly represents what it means and takes to be a woman. 

There are also additional female-written monologues being discussed from the television programs Fleabag and Before Sunrise. Phoebe Mary Waller-Bridge is an english actress, producer and screenwriter. She is also the creator, head writer and lead star of the comedic series Fleabag while American actress and writer Kim Krizan is most renowned for co-writing the Before trilogy's, Before Sunrise, Before Sunset and Before Midnight which she created the plot while giving a great emphasis on the character of Celine played by Julie Delpy. 

1. Belinda (Fleabag Series)

“I've been longing to say this out loud. Women are born with pain built in. It's our physical destiny: period pains, sore boobs, childbirth, you know. We carry it within ourselves throughout our lives, men don’t. They have to seek it out, they invent all these gods and demons and things just so they can feel guilty about things, which is something we do very well on our own. And then they create wars so they can feel things and touch each other and when there aren’t any wars they can play rugby. 

"We have it all going on in here inside, we have pain on a cycle for years and years and years and then just when you feel you are making peace with it all, what happens? The menopause comes, the fucking menopause comes, and it is the most wonderful fucking thing in the world. And yes, your entire pelvic floor crumbles and you get fucking hot and no one cares, but then you’re free, no longer a slave, no longer a machine with parts. You’re just a person. In business”

 One of my all-time favorite series monologues is this one. Belinda mentioned "period pains, sore boobs and childbirth" and I totally get what she meant. It's true that women experience all of these things on a monthly or even daily basis. Your body and mind function so differently when your period is about to arrive and you experience mood swings. The luteal phase, follicular phase and ovulation which every women experience that makes them feel like ravenous animals in need of reproduction. Your body is clearly asking for the deed that you don't usually think about and the menstrual pain might be fatal. It feels like a scene out of hell that can lead to sudden death. The sore boobs doesn't give a shit if it's small or if you got a big tits and the child birth which can change your whole life. Carrying a child in your womb for nine months, enduring different pains and changes in your body during pregnancy, your vagina ripping from giving birth then after, here's the postpartum depression, the breastfeeding, the crying baby and all. You become a mother who were expected to always choose their child first more than anyone in their lives, more than your own well being. It's all the women hardships, all those internal bravery that needs to be endure for months, for days just to be only called as weak. 

Women are expected to deal with all of these silently and to barely acknowledge the bravery behind it because all of these was deemed to be normal and it was our job but when she said "The menopause comes, the fucking menopause comes, and it is the most wonderful fucking thing in the world" . I hundred percent agree. You become more than just your reproductive organ. Women can definitely have sex whenever they want without thinking of conceiving a child for it to be a mistake or just a quick penetration. It's not just the sex they can enjoy but the freedom from all the pain a menstruation have.. Every day is excruciating and we barely have control over it. It feels like it's finally coming to an end which is atleast a relief. This is something that all women in this generation especially the younger ones need to hear. The journey from girlhood to womanhood has not been simple and never will be and we shouldn't feel guilty about putting off the idea of starting a family becoming old and going through menopause. The significance of shows authored by women like Fleabag is explained. We are pushed to take responsibility for our own female experiences and to share them with the world because our stories even the ones we are scared to tell ourselves are instantly broadcast to millions of people.

This scene is just brilliantly portrayed.

2. Jo March (Little Women)

“ I care more to be loved, I want to be love. I just feel like women, they have minds, they have souls, as well as just hearts. And they've got ambition and they've got talent, as well as just beauty. And I'm so sick of people saying that love is just all a woman is fit for. I'm so sick of it. But I’m so lonely.”

This piece of writing will not be complete without this monologue. I have so much love for the movie Little Women and this scene is just one of the few that truly resonated with me. If my life would be character in a movie it would be Jo. I tell it to my friend before and it still stays the same. When she said " I care more to be loved, I want to be love "  struck a deep chord with me. Although I am aware that this is merely a selfish gesture. I have similar feelings frequently. I want people around me to make me feel like they love me more, more than I did before I love them back the same amount they have. It's the constant thought of having the assurance that my love is not being wasted to someone. I simply love myself more than everyone else but it would be amazing to have someone love me even more. Simply put, how women are expected to look for a man who will love them more than they do in order to be confident that their relationship will succeed since the man will value them more and won't leave until the woman gives it her all. It's like we're testing people's love before we gave our all because we're scared of getting hurt. 

And just like Jo and every other woman who values her independence and  company alone, who thinks that women shouldn't necessarily need romantic relationships. This monologue really touched me because it found the exact words to express how a woman could feel. I adore this monologue and the way it illustrates how complicated the world is. "And I'm so sick of people saying that love is just all a woman is fit for. I'm so sick of it." Similar to Jo, who is happy with her friends and family but everyone is constantly being reminded to pursue romantic love by the world by its societal values. We lived in a world where romance was valued more than friendships and even familial ties, leaving behind all those who didn't want romance to be left behind. I feel like they're being taken away from me and that is one of the toughest pills to swallow. Similar to how my friends are beginning to build relationships or even their own families. I had the impression that our interactions and connections would fall out or when your sister or brother gets married and has a child, you are no longer their closest blood relative because it is now their child or when your friend spend less time with you because they are dating someone and you don't have any rights to complain because you're just simply their friend. I've seen a lot of people do that so I think it's just normal. I knew in my heart that I was happy for them. I want all of my friends and family who want relationships to find someone worthy of them and I think I will be one of the happiest people ever if they do but I had a little Jo moment there, where I wanted all of my friends and family to stay single so that we could maintain this bubble of closeness. I know that was a moment of ironic selfishness. I don't even own them in the first place but it was difficult to process. Women who feels the same can definitely relate. This kind of representation is a must need for someone like me and more out there and when she said at the end "but I'm so lonely" feels like a knife is being stabbed in me. The journey to love your own company and to be contented with your friends and family are great but sometimes it can be so lonely whenever people around you are not available because at the end of the day they will have their own person, their soulmate, their lovers and you're just a friend, a sister or a sibling. It takes a lot of strength to admit that even though you're fine being alone there will be days where you would still hope for someone to be with you and to choose you despite everything. 

3. Celine (Before Sunrise)

"I always feel this pressure of being a strong and independent icon of womanhood, and without making it look my whole life is revolving around some guy. But loving someone, and being loved means so much to me. We always make fun of it and stuff. But isn't everything we do in life a way to be loved a little more?"

Society have been taught woman to deny vulnerability and to deny intimacy that being said, Celine's statement, "But isn't everything we do in life a way to be loved a little more?"  felt so real because I mean, who wouldn't want to be loved, feel loved and express love? Women have been taught that if they continue to act in romantic ways and seek out romantic love, it will make them appear less like women and only as boy crazy girls. Women should have the freedom to pursue their dreams without fear of being judged as less of someone if they choose to stay single or as someone more if they choose romantic love. The way the world allowed us to believe that is absurd. It seems like women constantly strive to prove that they are strong independent individuals but they equally want to prove that they are deserving of love and that acknowledging their vulnerability and requiring the company of another person does not diminish their independence. We are incorrectly taught that in order to be a self-reliant symbol of femininity, we should make an effort to disregard males entirely. She was saying that love is already there within us and that our decision to accept, give or receive it depends only on our own decisions. Something like this ties or connects us all together. Love is who we are.

I think what this monologue is trying to say is that. If you're a woman who seek the type of love where you have a kid, a husband and a lover. A woman who cooks, clean and care for her family or woman who enjoys the type of love where you travel alone, eat alone, drink wine alone and do things alone for your own solitude is alright and valid. These are different path a woman would take which doesn't make you less of a person, it doesn't make you less of an independent woman whether you have a partner to rely on or whether you're just on your own. It doesn't matter as long as you seek the love that serves you, choose you, heard you, see you and make you feel happy and content and it's real and not pretentious. Wouldn't it be amazing to be a woman who shows love, who speak love, who radiate love. A woman can talk and do things for love without limits. This monologue is truly amazing because it talks about a two view points a woman could have which many actually experience and feel, and this also reminds us that we shouldn't be ashamed to give and choose that love where we feel we belong, safe and reciprocated. 

4. Gloria (Barbie Movie)

 “It is literally impossible to be a woman. You are so beautiful, and so smart, and it kills me that you don't think you're good enough. Like, we have to always be extraordinary, but somehow we're always doing it wrong.

"You have to be thin, but not too thin. And you can never say you want to be thin. You have to say you want to be healthy, but also you have to be thin. You have to have money, but you can't ask for money because that's crass. You have to be a boss, but you can't be mean. You have to lead, but you can't squash other people's ideas. You're supposed to love being a mother, but don't talk about your kids all the damn time. You have to be a career woman but also always be looking out for other people. You have to answer for men's bad behaviour, which is insane, but if you point that our, you're accused of complaining. You're supposed to stay pretty for men, but not so pretty that you tempt them too much or that you threaten other women because you're supposed to be a part of the sisterhood. "

"But always stand out and always be grateful. But never forget that the system is rigged. So find a way to acknowledge that but also always be grateful. You have to never get old, never be rude, never show off, never be selfish, never fall down, never fail, never show fear, never get out of line. It's too hard! It's too contradictory and nobody gives you a medal or says thank you! And it turns out in fact that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also everything is your fault.

"I'm just so tired of watching myself and every single other woman tie herself into knots so that people will like us. And if all of that is also true for a doll just representing women, then I don't even know."

The moment I heard this for the first time, I bawled my eyes out. Once again, I want to thank Gerwig for standing up for women. Many women were brought to tears by this entire speech. This monologue accurately captured the struggles faced by all women. It was an incredible scene that truly needed to be expressed. It talks about the common difficulties that women encounter throughout their lives."You are so beautiful, and so smart, and it kills me that you don't think you're good enough" . Always feeling the need to measure up to the expectations of society and the pressure to be intelligent, kind and compassionate but still living with the impression that you're falling short or doing things incorrectly every time. It seems as though women have always been held to an unattainable standard of perfection and we are penalized for being capable or not being capable of." You're supposed to stay pretty for men, but not so pretty that you tempt them too much or that you threaten other women because you're supposed to be a part of the sisterhood. ". You're supposed to be attractive and seductive but not too much so that you don't come off as a menace, a whore or a bitch. If you're not attractive or seductive, society will view you as someone ugly and unworthy. Society expects us to obey its standards despite the fact that everything is so contradictory, why do we listen to them in the first place?

Why do we constantly try to fit in and win everyone's love? It's inevitable that not everyone will love, like or even hate you. You don't even like them too, it's completely okay that we can't truly decide how or what other people would think of us. "I'm just so tired of watching myself and every single other woman tie herself into knots so that people will like us" This sentence is incredibly depressing because it shows how difficult it is for women to become accepted by society and how awful it is to watch other women sacrifice their life in order to feel like they belong. I want every woman to understand that, no matter who she is, she matters. Regardless of what they look or their abilities. Women have so much more to give and accomplish and we shouldn't let other people's norms and expectations to limit us. We also shouldn't live for their admiration and attention. I wish for every woman in the planet to understand how important they are. 

These are only a handful of the monologues that have stayed with me, and they were all really excellent. To be a woman is to be free. To be love and to express. Hope that cinema industry will continue to grow so we could see more representation that spoke truth about Womanhood.