nostalgia always makes me feel sick

The other day I caught myself reminiscing about highschool. The exact classroom, the atmosphere we walk into each time we go in. The sounds my classmates make, the giggling and arguing among themselves. The people who choose to remain silent and the friends I've met. I never would have imagined that I could be silly, have fun and laugh with the girls who had allowed me to experience my youth.

Then I went looking for 'the box'. The box every girl most likely owns. Specifically, a treasure or memory box. All while rereading all of the letters we had written to each other on Valentine's Day and on each birthdays made me smile uncontrollably. Though it seems absurd to carry out this tradition in our adult lives, I secretly hoped that we would but we can't do it again, though. Many things had changed; we were no longer the young girls who would stay up late making silly little cards for their friends. Most likely, they'll only do it for their boyfriends now. It's just that even though they passed by in my life for a years already. I will always remember them. Being the one who never forgets hurts. I felt as though I was living during a time that other people could not even remember. I will always think back on our time together even though weeks, months or years have gone, even though I am well aware that it is only one sided.

It always makes me sick to think about it. Why even bring up a memory that will only evoke strong emotions and sadness in me? Even though my heart and soul are always reminding me of those times, I don't even enjoy thinking back on them. The nostalgia feeling is a cruel one. Although you understand that things are not always as they seem, you would prefer that days like the ones you had earlier never ended. While others seemed to be able to move on, I felt as though I was shackled to my past. I'm still attached to memories that are only in my head exist. Even though I don't really want to go back to those days, I can't stop living in the past. Perhaps I simply miss the moment, the sentiment and the people behind it.

But I can see it with my own eyes. How things we once loved can vanish from existence. How the people we once knew become strangers once more. Even friends we once believed we would have for eternity can suddenly become strangers to us. Thoughts of sadness would occasionally cross my mind, most of the time they were omens that things would change in the world. No matter how intense your sense of nostalgia. Along the way, everything continue to change. Coming to terms with the fact that the people in our lives are temporary. They usually depart after imparting knowledge and creating memories, and those are the moments we will miss. We'll start to reminisce memories but never wanted to let them comeback with our life again. It was over.

We were also reminded by nostalgia of how quickly things can change. For many, it was terrifying. We want the people and things in our lives to be with us forever. We thought that them leaving would be painful for us, so we wanted them to stay. But nobody in our lives is permanent. The things we once loved and had may one day become boring or disappear. Most of the time, the people we used to be friends with will left without any notice because they just simply drift away. They left while you still remembers. The voice they have whenever they talk, their loud laughs, the way they walk, their very own existence that's all in the past.

As they're people leaving in our lives , they're people who will come to . It was a new set of people we're we can create bonds and memories again through sadness and happiness but at the end of the day people come and go. It will always be like that. Letting go people , letting go things and situation will always helps us to grow. It will leads us with new path for the new happenings and opportunity in our life. We shouldn't be scared of change because we need to know that whatever come and go. It will serve it's purpose. 

" some memories never leave your bones, like salt and sea; they become part of you and you carry them "

It's just that I will always find myself feeling nostalgic at the end of the day. It acts as a reminder of both the joy and sorrow of those earlier times. How sincere my heart was toward everyone in my life, despite the fact that our paths had already separate. They will still live on in my memory.